Remembering Spencer

Last week...well, not much happened. We just hung out at home and had a lot of fun playing. I kept track of Brooke's feeding and sleeping schedule. She is getting better at sleeping at night, although I wish that we were asleep before 11. It will just keep getting better. I am feeling great and I catch myself thinking I should get Jason to pick this up or I wish that I could clean the bathroom. And then I think...oh wait, I can do it myself. I can! It was great to clean the bathroom and have the stamina to do it after the surgery and not have a huge belly to block our shower door! It is awesome. It is seriously amazing what your body can heal from!
This weekend we went birthday shopping for Livy and Jake. Lora and Jake are coming to town in just a day and a half and I cannot tell you how excited I am! I miss my sister beyond words. I try not to think about it too much or I will cry. I talk to her practically everyday and sometimes more. I just wish that we could live right next door to each other so that we could help each other out. I about cried a river when I read her last blog about Livy and Oscar. I haven't seen them since August. They aren't coming to visit this time, but Lora called with good news on Wednesday and said that her family is coming for Oscar's spring break (that is a whole week!). We are so excited. Jason and Oscar have a special relationship and Jason was ecstatic, and we can't wait!
Sunday marked the 3rd birthday of our little Spencer's birth and death. When I think back it seems like it was so long ago, but also it feels just like yesterday when the doctor told me that he was gone.I feel numb sometimes when I think of him and there are some days that I don't think of him, but he is always in our family prayers because he is definitely a part of our eternal family so I at least remember him at the end of the day. I don't know what life would have been with him, so how can I really miss him? I guess I miss the idea of him. I cannot believe that I could have three kids under the age of 3! I think Tori really would have liked having an older brother in the flesh. I am glad I have the chance to cry. I really do miss my little boy and I really hope that Heavenly Father blesses us with another son someday. We celebrated by having donuts... although they weren't the best donuts in the world it was the thought that counts. We want to celebrate his birthday each year, and I am sure the girls won't mind having an excuse to have a special treat each year on his birthday. We hope to go to Provo and visit his grave site on Memorial Day.
My little Livy Lou filled this gap for me after Spencer's death. She was the little body I got to hold and cuddle and grieve with. She made me feel happy. This is the first year I don't get to go to her birthday party. I am really sad about this, but finances aren't spectacular right now. But I can just see her face when she opens her presents! I can't wait to see them in April!
Her are some pictures of the girls!
The many faces of Brookie:

the model stare...

the gangsta growl...

the "how are you doin'?"...

and the "cutie".

We had them snuggle in Tori's bed one night. I wish the pictures turned out better. The flash was horrible and washed them all out. Tori looks so tired!

Tori chilling on our "peninsula". That is what we call the big counter in our kitchen. It is sort of like an island, but is connected in on one wall (hence the name: peninsula).

Serious Silliness

I am sitting at the computer desk at the best time of the day (of course I am multi-tasking and eating a humongous salad with Newman's Own Light Balsamic Vinegrette all over it) when both girls are down for a nap and I have about an hour of time (let's not call it free time because I am usually doing something like laundry or dishes and sneaking in a shower and lunch) to do things!
So here are a few pictures of the girlies having fun. We like to have fun in this house! Tori's favorite ways to have fun are reading, playing with her toys (right now her favorite is the little people farm) and DANCING! She is an amazing dancer. She sure can move her groove thing. Yesterday was Stake Conference and I giggled when one of the speakers said that we need to watch what music we listen to! Ha! Our music list consists of the Wiggles, Ralph's World and Sesame Street! If we were going to heaven based on the music we listen to, I think we are there! She also loves to climb on anything and everything!
Here are some fun pictures from this last week!

Tori has recently learned to take off all of her clothes. She hasn't tried the diaper yet, and hopefully never will. Here is some of her dinner shenanigans. Look at the mess on her tray! The thrills of eating by herself.

I caught her on camera smiling! I had to use the mega flash so that she wouldn't have blur marks from moving, but she sure is cute when she smiles. She is climbing on the chairs and trying to get into the bassinet.

Check out her hair...it is getting so long. Talk to the hand!

I love this picture even though it is a little weird angle.

This is a picture of her dancing!

Ahhh...Brookie! She is in the warmest pair of pajamas. She is officially in size 0-3 months and at the last Doctor's visit she weighed an even 10 pounds and was 21 inches long! (I can't believe that some babies are actually born that big!)

She is totally grinning at Tori and her lambies. Tori loves to play with her in her bassinet.

Loves!

Here is the cutie in her Sunday outfit that Jason picked out! Adorable!

Here she is grinning! She is so fun when she is awake!
Now off for a shower...hopefully they won't wake up! And maybe I will fit in some laundry! Wish me luck!!
UPDATE: I got in a shower and started the laundry! And both of the kids have been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours! Yipee!

Brooke's Blessing

Brooke's blessing was on Sunday. Jason's parents came Thursday night for the festivities. They were in California, but drove up all the way to Idaho (leaving Wednesday morning) so that they could take care of the girls on Thursday night and Jason and I could go on a date. We went to Costa Vida (a Cafe Rio knock off that was ok, but can anything compare?!) and then we saw Avatar (which was surprisingly a good movie and I am sure would be awesome in 3D except that I get really sick in 3D movies). Thanks Dennis and Gwen.
Both of my parents were supposed to come for the blessing, but my Mom had a feeling not to come because she was feeling a little under the weather. Friday morning she went to the doctor and she had an inner ear infection! Good thing she went to the doctor and didn't get on the plane or she would have been in so much pain. I am glad that my mom listened to the Spirit. So my Dad came by himself and Tori was really excited to see him.
Saturday afternoon Jason's parents gave him his birthday present. They made him 2 photo albums of his childhood and family history. They are amazing! They worked really hard on them. He also got stuff for his Wii (a new nun chuck and Wii motion sleeve). It was really fun to watch Dennis and my dad play the Wii with Jason! We also went to the Cheesecake Factory which Jason has now decided is one of his favorite restaurants because he likes more than one thing on the menu. Mmmmm.... you just gotta love the fact that there are like 80 different cheesecakes and I have such a hard time deciding shich one to get (I ended up with oreo!).
Sunday was great. Brooke's blessing was beautiful and she looked pretty in her dress (thanks Auntie Joy!). All of the accessories were from my mom. Boy my children are spoiled! We said bye to my dad that afternoon (my Dad came to the car and said goodbye to Tori who then wailed because he was leaving her. Although it was sad to see him go, I am glad that Tori loves him so much she wanted him to stay!).
We spent the rest of Sunday evening in the car for a whirlwind trip to Utah. One of Jason's cousins, Ryan Flinders (age 24) died suddenly and we went to the funeral so that Jason could be one of the pall bearers. It was nice to see all of the family but a sad reason to be gathered all together. Ryan was so young, but he was in a lot of pain because of some physical ailments that he had been dealing with his whole life. he will be missed, but we know that he can now serve a mission and not feel anymore pain.
Well, I hope you enjoy this long post and all of the pictures! (I cannot believe that baby is still asleep! It is 9:15 AM!) And Tori is being an angel playing by herself!

Dad enjoying his little girls. He is so good at calming Brookie and Tori loves him!

Ahhh!

I think the reason that Tori loves my Dad so much is because he will get down on the floor and play with her and read her every book that she shoves at him.

Looking at the camera (sorry about the bad flash...we are going to have to get that fixed or something...it washes out everything because it is too powerful!)

Ahhh! Brookie!

A little yawn. I love this dress because it has such beautiful little details!

More of the little girl.

Gotta love this picture!

Tori doesn't really like taking pictures with Brooke.

Love this one too!

Tori with my dad.

Ahhh! Brookie with Grandma and Grandpa

3 generations with Grandpa Lee

I put both of these on because Tori looks adorable in this picture and Brooke looks cute in the other one!

Brookie with Grandpa Lee

Tori with Grandma and Grandpa.

Tori was asleep by the time Jason got back, so it is just us with Brookie.
Brookie with me!

Brookie with her daddy...ahh! I love that she is all scrunched up!

One more with daddy looking at the camera. Brooke was about done with pictures then!

Here are some random ones of the girls to end with. I had to put this one of Tori because it shows off her Elmo socks. She has about 5 pairs of character socks (some of which so not fit as well as they used to) and if she could choose, she would wear them with every outfit. I loved brooke in this outfit. It made her eyes super blue.

The Bumbo, Sunday and Sleep

Well...the Brooke is getting into a better sleep schedule. I am still way tired at the end of the day. (She still doesn't go to sleep until like 12:30-1:30 AM, but sleeps until 6 or even 7 sometimes. I am looking for this amazing sleep book that I checked out from the Orem library when Tori was born, but I don't remember what it is called and I checked out so many that I am mixing books up. So that is one problem I need to solve this week. (Although Brooke is considered to sleep through the night because she sleeps 5 hours in a row.) I just wished she went to sleep a little earlier!
We just introduced her to the Bumbo and she loves it! Here are some pictures of the Bumbo sitting Brooke and having fun on Sunday.

The happy girl in the Bumbo.

Jason took this one of her sitting on the couch. The next picture is super cute but it was done with our flash which always makes our pictures flushed out, but she is so happy!

Cami hanging out in the car seat.

These next pictures were taken about 1 AM but I love them because you can see her cute little feet! She is so wide awake!

Ahhh...looking at the camera.

Her little Sunday outfit. Her tights are 2 sizes too big, but they are the heaviest ones that we have and I don't want her to freeze. We changed church times to 11 AM and it wasn't too bad. Tori actually lasted the whole time in Nursery even though it was during her nap!

ahhh! what a smile!

Check out Tori's hair! it is getting so long!

Ahh a kiss from Cami. Tori loves her kitty!

Last but not least a content Brooke in the Bumbo. what a fabulous invention!